Late Night Thoughts

This is something that I wrote late one night while thinking about my life.

It’s going to sound strange for me to say this, but sometimes my apartment feels almost too big. Not to say that apartment is large in anyway, because believe me it is really small. I think that it has something to do with being alone all the time. When you are alone it’s a lot quieter, and there is only one person to take up space. I don’t take up much space; I usually stay in one area, no if I need more space it would be because of my stuff. I have a lot of stuff.

Right now this place seems too big, but it quite late and that usually means that I am feeling lonely. I don’t like to feel lonely, I don’t like it all, but at least I can be up late and not worry about waking someone else up.

I do enjoy the freedom that I have to due to the fact that I am alone. I can be messy, I can eat whatever I want, I can listen to what I want how loud I want, and many other things without worrying about the person I live with will think.

You know it’s funny when I lived with my parents I never once worried about what they thought about what I was doing, but I guess we were just use to each other. I guess that if I had to choose I would either live alone or with my parents. At least if I lived with my parents it would solve the lonely thing; and the house never once felt too big. It was always just right, and sometimes I miss the sounds of my parents walking around. Oh great, now I’m home sick.

I guess living with someone would be alright if they just let you be, and it didn’t feel like they were judging you all the time. I guess that if I can’t live with my parents, and I am 25 so I really shouldn’t, then I’d much rather live alone. I think that I prefer the tiny apartment feeling too big, then the big apartment feeling too small.