Not All Who Wander Are Lost

There is a quote from Tolkien that goes: “Not all who wander are lost”. And I don’t feel that I am lost, I just don’t have a plan. I’m not lost, I just feel like I am wondering around trying to figure things out. The quote describes Aragorn, and if you really take the time to think about his story it really makes sense. I do identify with Aragorn; he wandered, but always knew that he was destined for greater things. I hope that this makes sense. If you haven’t read The Lord of the Rings it might not.

Lately I’ve been looking for inspiration to get me through the hard times. I know that there is the “it gets better” campaign out there, but over all I think that it is crap. It’s all well and good to tell people that it gets better, but when you’re living through some tough times that really does not help much. I think that tips for making it through would be more helpful.

Last week I started a job at a movie theatre. It’s not really where I want to be but I needed the job. Things in my life never really seem to go the way I actually want them too. Over all I’m ok with it, but for once I would like things to go my way. I would like to get the job of my dreams…the one that makes me excited to get up and go to work in the morning.

I wish that I had some tips for others just trying to get through, but I really don’t have any. I’m still trying to figure it all out. That’s why I don’t think that I am lost so much as I’m just trying to figure things out. It’s hard to know where you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to do. I honestly don’t think that I am wondering, I think I am figuring out the path that I suppose to be on. My path might just be taking longer to figure out then someone else’s path.

I was listening to Rachael Yamagata durint the writing of this post please check her out, here is the video for her song Elephants: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea4E-XYLStw&feature=relmfu

The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Review

I just finished reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I guess that I am still processing it, but I’m not sure how I feel about it. The book is about a boy named Charlie whose friend committed suicide just before his freshman year of high school. The story then takes place during that year, and deals with how Charlie copes with his life.

I love the way that this book is written. It is written from Charlie’s point of view in letter form. He writes all his thoughts down to an unknown friend. You never find out who this friend is or where Charlie met him/her, but it does make it seem like he really is writing to you personally which I find to be really cool. I really love this style of writing. I’ve other books before that where written as diaries/journals and I always thought that it gave the story a sort of reality and intimacy.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a very compelling story about what it is like to be a teenager. Stephen Chbosky paints a great picture of what it’s like to be a teen trying to deal with difficult situations, while still wanting to be “normal” and accepted. I was so interested in the story that there were nights when I stayed up late just to see what would happen next. Charlie learns a lot about himself during the year that the story takes place, and in the end I just feel sad for him. In the way of coming of age stories this one does not have that happy life affirming moment. It leaves you feeling sad, and yet at the same time you do know that Charlie will be alright.

Despite that The Perks of Being a Wallflower was slightly depressing I would definitely recommend it. It was such intriguing read, and I really didn’t know how it was going to end, and it ended with a twist. Now all I have I do is wait for the movie to come out!

The Wizard of Oz

I’m watching the Wizard of Oz right now; I’ve seen this movie so much that I stopped watching it, but tonight I thought that I’d put it on. I’ve always had a love and hate relationship with this movie. It is a classic and I do really love the songs, but there is something about it that makes me not want to watch it. It’s probably because when you’re a kid it is kind of creepy. I think that the first time I ever watched it I was alone in my basement. The flying monkeys are really weird. However, I think it’s more that in University in my Filming Literature class we studied The Wizard of Oz, and it was just to in depth to really enjoy it much after that.

One of the first things that I noticed is when Dorothy walked into Oz was that there is a second road. There is the Yellow Brick road that leads to the Emerald City, but there is also a Red Brick Road. I wonder were the red brick road goes. Also, why do both roads start in Munchkin land? Is Munchkin Land like a port or do the roads just happen to meet there so they built a city there? Ok and why does the Yellow Brick Road split? If there are two roads at the start shouldn’t they just continue on in one line and not split? Also, if the scarecrow isn’t smart how is it that he knows which way to go to get the Emerald City?  Man, the road system is in Oz is confusing.

Now here is something that I have always wondered. What do the ruby slippers do? I know that they able to send Dorothy home, but what other magic do they have? The Wicked Witch of the West wants them so bad, but do we ever find out why. Do they protect Dorothy? She gets into a lot of trouble, but never gets hurt. You could say it has to do with the fact that the movie is a dream, but let’s not get into that. This just occurred to me, but how weird would the Wicked Witch look wearing the ruby slippers? I don’t think that those shoes would suit her.

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears, Oh My! I wonder how much this movie is quoted in other movies, and TV shows, and life, Oh My!

I was sitting here wondering how they made the lion’s tail move like that, and then I noticed the string. Way to ruin the magic guys, thanks. I honestly had never noticed it before.

The scarecrow has a gun…this just made me laugh. And there go the creepy flying monkeys.

Why doesn’t the Wicked Witch just kill Dorothy instead of giving her time with the hour glass? And why does it seem like a lot more sand then the Witch thinks?

I really love the moral of the story where even though you don’t think that you are something it is there all along. With the Scarecrow, Tin man and Lion they each think that they are lacking something, brains, heart, courage, but they prove throughout the movie that they already have those things. I love that. Even if you don’t think that you have a certain quality, if you look deep down, you actually do.

Why do witches melt? What are they made of? And why did she steam? When you melt, is it with hot water? So many things that I don’t understand, why is this movie bringing up so many questions?

I love that you have to fly in or out of Oz. It makes it so far away that it could be a believable place.

All in all, I do love The Wizard of Oz. It really is a classic movie. I love the songs, but it still is creepy. Over all if someone hadn’t seen this movie I would recommend that they see it. The Wizard of Oz id definitely one movie that everyone should see, they would for sure understand some quotes better. I think that in the end it is one of those movies that despite it all it is a movie that makes you think about yourself and what you want about from life. Each character thinks that they need one thing from their lives that they are missing. In the end you find out that they had that thing all along which, a lesson that everyone could learn.

Thoughts on Being Single

I was just thinking about my grandparents, I love them all so much, and how different my life is to theirs. By my age they were married and they had babies. I can’t even imagine being married, or even having a baby. I’m not ready for that stuff; sometimes I wonder if my Grandparents were, or if that was just expected of them. No, I know that my all of Grandparents were so in love with the person that they married. I can’t believe that I could question that.

It was such a different time when my Grandparents were meeting and falling in love. I can’t even imagine it, no internet, no cell phones, just…life. Sometimes I think that simpler would be better. Maybe then I might actually meet someone, have some sort of romance. But really when it comes down to it, I don’t really want a relationship right now. Back then they it was normal to want to get married and have a family, but I don’t really care if that happens. Yes, I would like someone to be there for me, but it’s not high on my priority list.

In my life I have seem women who have been single their whole lives and they live really great fulfilling lives. I use them as role models. I don’t need a man to happy; there are too many women who seem so need a man in their lives and I’m just not interested in relationship after relationship. I believe that if there is a man out there then he will find me. I’m going to use the internet, and I’m not going to hang out in bars or clubs hoping that a guy talks to me. I’m ok with being single.

As for being lonely, it is something that I deal with. I like my freedom, and I’d rather have freedom then a relationship. The one thing that people don’t tell you is that relationships change you. It’s not always in a bad way, but you do change. Right now I don’t want to change. I want to continue to figure out who I really am, and what I really want without someone getting in the way influencing my thoughts.

One thing at a time right?

Late Night Thoughts

This is something that I wrote late one night while thinking about my life.

It’s going to sound strange for me to say this, but sometimes my apartment feels almost too big. Not to say that apartment is large in anyway, because believe me it is really small. I think that it has something to do with being alone all the time. When you are alone it’s a lot quieter, and there is only one person to take up space. I don’t take up much space; I usually stay in one area, no if I need more space it would be because of my stuff. I have a lot of stuff.

Right now this place seems too big, but it quite late and that usually means that I am feeling lonely. I don’t like to feel lonely, I don’t like it all, but at least I can be up late and not worry about waking someone else up.

I do enjoy the freedom that I have to due to the fact that I am alone. I can be messy, I can eat whatever I want, I can listen to what I want how loud I want, and many other things without worrying about the person I live with will think.

You know it’s funny when I lived with my parents I never once worried about what they thought about what I was doing, but I guess we were just use to each other. I guess that if I had to choose I would either live alone or with my parents. At least if I lived with my parents it would solve the lonely thing; and the house never once felt too big. It was always just right, and sometimes I miss the sounds of my parents walking around. Oh great, now I’m home sick.

I guess living with someone would be alright if they just let you be, and it didn’t feel like they were judging you all the time. I guess that if I can’t live with my parents, and I am 25 so I really shouldn’t, then I’d much rather live alone. I think that I prefer the tiny apartment feeling too big, then the big apartment feeling too small.

The Name of the Star - Review

The Name of Star by Maureen Johnson is set in present day London, England during a particular turbulent time for the city. There is a copy cat Jack the Ripper on the loose, one that is has incredible attention to detail; copying the manner and locations of each murder. It is at this time that Rory arrives at Wexford, from New Orleans, to start her senior year of High School and first year at boarding school. Wexford is right in the middle of Ripper territory and Rory and her friends begin to speculate about the murders, but no one could have guessed that Rory would become an integral part of the Ripper case.

The Name of Star is such an amazing book. I had a hard time putting it down; I needed to know what was going to happen to Rory. Maureen Johnson did a wonderful job writing this story. The plot is intriguing with many twists that, I admit, I could not even dream were coming. I love the way that Maureen was able to weave the trials of being a teenager with the terrors of having a Ripper on the loose. And it is also great the way that she is able to convey the feelings of a teenage girl in this situation without going over the top.

It is fitting that I read this book leading up to Halloween, as The Name of Star is thrilling and frightening. However, this is a young adult novel and never once was I creeped out enough to lose sleep over this story. I feel like I have learned something new about London and its history, and I also really want to visit the city in this story even more after reading about it. I definitely recommend The Name of the Star to youth and adults alike, it’s story is one that, I believe, anyone will find interesting. Please support Maureen Johnson; she truly is an amazing author.

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Sorry, I’ve watching Canada’s Walk of Fame ceremony as I write, and they just presented the award for Dr. Roberta Bondar. I was, honestly, almost in tears. If you don’t already know Dr. Roberta Bondar is the first Canadian woman to travel into space, and you really should look up her story, it’s amazing! Dr. Bondar is such an inspiration, and after listening to her acceptance speech I feel like I could do anything. Now this is someone who deserves a star on the walk of fame.

Pride and Prejudice

Today I have spent most of the day watching Pride and Prejudice. Not the one with Kira Knightly, the one with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. I love this version, it might be long, but it is very well done. It tells the story very well, and I’m sure close to the book…I really must read it. Whenever I watch Pride and Prejudice I think to myself that I would have done well during this time period.

At this time women did many of the things that I enjoy doing; reading, writing letters, knitting, walking, and drinking tea. I just need to learn to needle point and play piano, and then I would have all the skills of a desirable young woman. It would also be fun to go visiting, and to attend balls; with nothing to worry about but how to get a husband. Then again this life could also be very dull.

I’m sure that during this time days were long, and in between the visiting a balls it must have been quite boring. I think that I would spend most of my days reading, and walking about the country side. I just thought to myself, quite seriously, that I really should learn to needlepoint because it is a dying art. Another thing to keep myself busy I suppose.

The one thing that I don’t think that I would enjoy is the whole finding a husband business. I currently am single and don’t really wish to find a husband. At this moment I am quite content to be single. I suppose that is the advantage of living in the present time, I am able to live on my own and take care of myself. Although, I might be persuaded to take a husband if he look like Colin Firth in Pride and Prejudice that is for sure.

One thing that I’m really happy about is that my mother is nothing like Mrs. Bennett. Mrs Bennett is very over the top; she works herself into a tizzy over the smallest of things. Mrs Bennett’s primary concern is to marry off all five of her daughters, and she will stop at nothing to make sure that they all do. I suppose that she is justified, as the girls need husbands to take care of them, but she does not seem to care about her daughter’s happiness at all. That is where I win; my mom is only concerned about my being happy instead of my being married.

In the end I think that my situation is better than that of the girls in Pride and Prejudice, at least I am able to do with my life as I wish. I also can add to the list of things that I am able to spend my time doing, playing guitar, watching TV and movies, playing video games, and going on the internet. It is nice to be able to fill my time with these things and to not become bored, but I wouldn’t mind the visiting and the balls.