Where the Colours Don't Go

Recent events have made me think about myself a little bit. I had another job fall through and due to this fact have had a lot of comments revolving around how I deal with my circumstances. People continue to tell that I am dealing with everything really well, and that they couldn’t image being in my shoes. I am here to tell you that I, honestly, do not have some sort of secret.

In the interview for the job that didn’t work out I was asked how I deal with stress. I always think that this is such an odd question. No two people deal with stress in the same way. I take things one at time, because if you don’t then you become overwhelmed. You can’t let things get to you, and you need to understand that if you need help…ask for help. There is no real way to describe how I don’t get stressed out. I think that if you think that something is going to stress you out then you are going to get stressed out. But if you chill out and take things as they come and don’t let get to you, then you’ll be fine. This is not something that is easy to explain to someone in an interview. They really want you to have some sort of formula for stress, but I guarantee that person doesn’t have a formula either.

So, how do I deal with all these difficult situations? Much like how I deal with stress, I don’t let it get it to me. Sure I go through phases and not all of them are happy, but the phases never last that long. The first phase is an upset, crying phase. I’m sure that everyone is familiar with this one. I think that the difference between me and most people is that this phase never last that long. The sadness really only lasts a day, then I’m ready to move on and do something new…whatever that might be. I usually move on to a mad phase, where I am just pissed off about everything that happened. Then I move on an empowering phase, where I begin to believe that I am better off…and am really awesome. After that I usually, slowly, come back to reality and become more like my regular self with my regular outlook. Then I’m just me, and I’m OK.

I think that for a lot of people they get stuck in my first phase, and they don’t know how to get out of it. I admit that you really do need that time to feel sad, but if you don’t know how to bring yourself out of the sadness, then you’ve lost. This time the thing that did it for me was “Bad Reputation” by Joan Jett. I cranked that song liked it was nobody’s business, and I haven’t listened to any really sad music since. I think that the music that you listen too and the TV/movies that you watch really can help. If you listen/watch sad stuff then it is going to make/keep you sad, but if you listen/watch something that is happy then it will elevate your mood.

There is this song by Sam Phillips called “Where the Colours Don’t Go” that is about the place where depression and sadness lives. You have to choose to stay out of the place where the colours don’t go, because if you go there, well, it’s really hard to come back. There is no formula to keep you out of that place; it’s more of a decision. Take a look around and really ask yourself is this the state of mind that I want to be in, and if it’s not figure out how to fix it.

I don’t have all the answers, but I do have some really good insight. If there is ever anyone reading this that is in the place where the colours do go, please know that you can talk to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Koh-wPyQvA

The Book Thief - Review

The Book Thief is a book that I never would have heard about if it hadn’t been for John Green. If you have never heard of John Green then here is the summary – he is a young adult novelist and one half of the Vlogbrothers, seriously you should check him out. John Green recommended The Book Thief in one of his videos, just look up the Vlogbrothers on YouTube already, and I thought that I would give it a chance. I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that I read this book. It makes you think about things that you never even dreamed of thinking about before, and the writing is amazing.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak is about a girl, Liesel Meminger, who lived during Nazi Germany. Liesel is put through a lot of hard times, but to get through everything she starts to steal books…from Nazi book burnings, from the Mayor’s wife. With the help of her foster father Liesel learns to read, and words are what end up saving her.

This story makes you think about what it was like for the civilians of Germany during World War Two. In any history class that I had ever taken I had only heard that Germany was the enemy, but I never really thought about what it would have been like for the people living in the enemy country at that time. It is really interesting and heartbreaking to think that there were Germans, who were not Jewish, who were against the things that Hitler was doing. It is also really hard to think that when the Allies, the good guys in history, where bombing Germany they were killing people who actually agreed with them. This book really makes you think about the fact that not all Germans were the bad guys.

The thing that I liked the most about The Book Thief is that it wasn’t narrated by Liesel, but instead was narrated by Death. It is a really different concept to have Death tell the story, Death was probably the most present figure during World War Two and to think that this was the one story that gripped Death so much that Death felt the need to tell it makes it that much more important. There also isn’t a bias because Death isn’t on one side or the other. Death doesn’t enjoy the fact that there are more souls to collect, Death doesn’t care who wins, and Death just wants the war to be over. I love the emotion that Death presents; Death truly cares about each and every soul that Death takes.  

I recommend The Book Thief to everyone. In this review I have not even scratched the surface of what this book is about. I think that it is an important book with important themes, and as the New York Times says, life changing. Please don’t let the Young Adult Novel stamp trick you, The Book Thief is a book for all ages.

Kathleen Edwards Voyageur - Review

Today Kathleen Edwards released her fourth album Voyageur. I have been waiting for this album to come out since the summer when I first heard that she was recording new music. I was lucky enough to get the album a few days early courtesy of the record store Rotate This which is just down the street from where I live. Now that I have a few days to process the album I can honestly say that it has exceeded my expectations.

 Voyageur starts off with song Empty Threat. This song starts with just guitar, and I don’t know how Kathleen does it but it sets the tone for the entire album. This song is so great; it is rocking with a hint of country, and has a catching chorus to boot. This is the sort of song that makes me want to pick up the guitar and start to play, granted that I am not very good, but still I just want to rock out.

The next song is Chameleon/ Comedian. I have bootleg copy of this song from her performance at the Drake, and I have to say this song it so different. I really love the changes that she made. It is slower and more intense. You can really feel the emotion coming through within the instrumentation. I love the lyrics of this song, they really just make sense. It is almost like an epiphany happening within a song. The metaphor is that strong.

Next up is Soft Place to Land. I heard this song for the first time on the Drake bootleg, and I loved it at first listen. This song is one the most emotional songs I have ever heard in my entire life. It is so sad, and its impact is so strong. I feel like I have been in this situation before, more than once and this song just sums everything up perfectly. Every time that it plays I have to stop and listen and sing along to chorus. It is becoming one of all time favourite songs.

Change the Sheets is one of those songs that you instantly love; at least it was for me. From the second that I heard this song I was sold! The build up is dramatic, the guitar is beautiful, and the lyrics really hit home. This is probably the song that I am most excited to hear live.

The song House Full of Empty Rooms is one that is full of feeling. When I first heard it I thought of my Grandparents. I know that it isn’t about Grandparents, but I feel like they are the people who really experience a house full of empty rooms. I have three Grandparents and they all live in these big houses, and they don’t really use all of the space that they have. This song made me really think about what would you do with a house that is mostly empty.

Mint was also a part of the Drake bootleg and I can tell you that I didn’t like that first version that I heard, but I really like this new version. It is bluesy and gritty; I love the raunchy side of this song. The melody is really cool, and whenever I hear it I start to sway back and forth. I didn’t expect to love it, but I really love it.

One of my favourite songs is Sidecar. It is rocky and poppy and I love the sounds that are produced in this song. It is one of the only upbeat songs and it makes me want to dance when I hear it. This album is full of sad and insightful songs, which I love, but it is nice to get an upbeat pop rock single. This is one of those songs that during the summer you want to roll down the car windows and crank as you cruise around town. It really just makes me happy.

Pink Champagne…I really don’t know what to say about this song. It really is amazing. Every time I hear it I just want to cry. The lyrics are so poignant, and emotionally raw. This song really came out of left field for me, and it is by far my favourite on the album. I love the way that Kathleen sounds like she is crying during the chorus. It really makes my heart hurt, which is not something that I can say about any other song.

The song Going to Hell was one that I wasn’t sure I was going to like, but after listening to it I really do. I love the imagery that is within the lyrics. The thought of going to hell because of some else is probably a familiar thought of too many people and it was one that I loved. I honestly don’t think that I have heard this thought expressed by someone else, which is something that I love about Kathleen Edwards…she goes there.  I love instrumental part to this song; it grips you and holds on tight. The whole song makes you feel like you are on a journey, one that you don’t really know where you destination is.

When this crazy piano sound started at the end my first listen of Voyageur I wasn’t really sure what to think. For the Record is one of those sad soulful songs that hit you when you least expect it. It wasn’t the first time that I heard this song that made me love it but the tenth time. I wasn’t expecting it but there is was, bluesy guitar in your face saying: I understand how you feel. I still don’t understand what this song means to me, but I do know that I love it.

I think that by now you get that there is not one song on this album that I do not love. I think Kathleen Edwards wrote some really amazing songs and with the help of Justin Vernon of Bon Iver produced an amazing album. This album is different from Kathleen Edwards other albums, and yet at the same time is so Kathleen Edwards. I don’t think that I could explain that last sentence to anyone who wasn’t a Kathleen Edwards fan, but please just take my word for it. I love the way that Voyageur sounds, and especially how Kathleen used background vocals in a way that she never has before.

If you haven’t checked out Kathleen Edwards I encourage you to do so right now. And you’re listening and viewing pleasure here is the video for Change the Sheets.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdTF_M-h1J4&list=FLIiNIT3Fu7YZHhK1GCFZ2Vw&index=3&feature=plpp_video

Counting Airplanes

When I was in my second year of university I had a widow that faced west in my dorm room, I could see the airplanes flying by every few minutes. I remember days when, in between classes, I would lay on my bed with my head at the foot of my bed and watch the planes. I have always had a thing for airplanes, not flying on them, but watching them fly past. I guess it was because it was always something that meant excitement and new beginnings for me.

Where I grew up you never saw an airplane taking off in the distance, there would the occasional jet way over head, but it never was the same thing. I know that the first time I visited the city I was a kid, we went and saw a Blue Jays game, but I don’t really remember much about that trip other then the baseball game. When I was in high school I started to go to the city on class trips, and I remember that the first thing that always made me feel like I was in the city was the vision of planes taking off out of the big bus windows.

The first time that I fell in love with city was when I was 16. I got a ticket to see The Who for my birthday and I traveled down to the city with my Dad and my brother. I remember seeing the planes flying overhead as we first entered into the outskirts of the city. I remember looking at the tall the buildings as we made our way in the core of downtown and feeling awe. I knew where I really wanted to be.

“When you’re up between the new skyline, the city lights and the warm sunshine, it’s a long way down. When you can count on one hand what you love and you can count on who you love to help you on your long way down. And you end up counting airplanes, trying to keep up with the changes, and I don’t want to be just anybody. So, don’t try to figure me out, I won’t try to figure you out, I don’t want to be some average anybody”. - Counting Airplanes by Train.

Counting Airplanes came out when I was 16 and because of my fascination with planes I instantly loved the thought of watching airplanes while you are trying to figure out your life. After I turned 16 I experienced a lot of changes and this song just hit home for me. I loved the idea that no matter what changes you were going through in life there were always things you could count on, like airplanes flying past your window.

I moved into my apartment in September and two weeks later I lost my job. I took it really hard, but one day, as I was opening my blind, I noticed something in the distance. It was an airplane taking off. I’m still trying to figure everything out, but at least until I do I can count airplanes.

Incase you wanted to take a listen to Counting Airplanes...Here it is!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTBbreab9Q8&feature=related

Christmas

I arrived home today a few days early for Christmas. The house is decorated to the nines for the season and immediately put me into the Christmas spirit. I had been trying hard to get into holiday mode, listening to tones of Christmas music and watching all the Christmas related movies that I own, but somehow it just didn’t feel like Christmas yet.

However, as I walked in the door and saw the Christmas tree with gifts piled underneath I felt like it was finally Christmas. I spent the afternoon knitting while my Mom baked cookies and we listened to Christmas music. Later on we are going to watch one of favourite Christmas movies, Christmas Vacation. I’m excited to get to spend the rest of the week preparing for the big day. I have knitting to finish, and lots of wrapping to do. I look forward to visiting family, and the arrival of my brother and sister-in-laws arrival on Friday, Christmas eve eve as my family would say.

The other night as I watched an old Christmas play that my brother and I were in when we were kids I got to thinking about how different Christmas is and how our traditions have changed. When we were kids we use to stay at one of my grandparents house over night on Christmas eve so that we could Christmas morning with them. Now we stay at home, and make the short 10 minute drive to each Grandparent’s house later in the day.

This year marks the first year since my brother and sister-in-law got married that they will be at our house for Christmas. They usually travel to Saskatchewan to visit my sister-in-law’s family, but this year decided to spend the holiday with us. I’m excited to introduce her to some of our traditions. The house will be full of people and I think that it will be an extra special Christmas this year.

Although some of traditions have changed I still really enjoy Christmas. I think that as you grow up it’s natural for traditions to grow along with you, and I’m sure that this year they will change once more. I look forward to see what this Christmas holds for my family, and I hope that your holiday is full of laughter, smiles, warmth and love.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

There is a quote from Tolkien that goes: “Not all who wander are lost”. And I don’t feel that I am lost, I just don’t have a plan. I’m not lost, I just feel like I am wondering around trying to figure things out. The quote describes Aragorn, and if you really take the time to think about his story it really makes sense. I do identify with Aragorn; he wandered, but always knew that he was destined for greater things. I hope that this makes sense. If you haven’t read The Lord of the Rings it might not.

Lately I’ve been looking for inspiration to get me through the hard times. I know that there is the “it gets better” campaign out there, but over all I think that it is crap. It’s all well and good to tell people that it gets better, but when you’re living through some tough times that really does not help much. I think that tips for making it through would be more helpful.

Last week I started a job at a movie theatre. It’s not really where I want to be but I needed the job. Things in my life never really seem to go the way I actually want them too. Over all I’m ok with it, but for once I would like things to go my way. I would like to get the job of my dreams…the one that makes me excited to get up and go to work in the morning.

I wish that I had some tips for others just trying to get through, but I really don’t have any. I’m still trying to figure it all out. That’s why I don’t think that I am lost so much as I’m just trying to figure things out. It’s hard to know where you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to do. I honestly don’t think that I am wondering, I think I am figuring out the path that I suppose to be on. My path might just be taking longer to figure out then someone else’s path.

I was listening to Rachael Yamagata durint the writing of this post please check her out, here is the video for her song Elephants: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea4E-XYLStw&feature=relmfu

The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Review

I just finished reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I guess that I am still processing it, but I’m not sure how I feel about it. The book is about a boy named Charlie whose friend committed suicide just before his freshman year of high school. The story then takes place during that year, and deals with how Charlie copes with his life.

I love the way that this book is written. It is written from Charlie’s point of view in letter form. He writes all his thoughts down to an unknown friend. You never find out who this friend is or where Charlie met him/her, but it does make it seem like he really is writing to you personally which I find to be really cool. I really love this style of writing. I’ve other books before that where written as diaries/journals and I always thought that it gave the story a sort of reality and intimacy.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a very compelling story about what it is like to be a teenager. Stephen Chbosky paints a great picture of what it’s like to be a teen trying to deal with difficult situations, while still wanting to be “normal” and accepted. I was so interested in the story that there were nights when I stayed up late just to see what would happen next. Charlie learns a lot about himself during the year that the story takes place, and in the end I just feel sad for him. In the way of coming of age stories this one does not have that happy life affirming moment. It leaves you feeling sad, and yet at the same time you do know that Charlie will be alright.

Despite that The Perks of Being a Wallflower was slightly depressing I would definitely recommend it. It was such intriguing read, and I really didn’t know how it was going to end, and it ended with a twist. Now all I have I do is wait for the movie to come out!