Recent events have made me think about myself a little bit. I had another job fall through and due to this fact have had a lot of comments revolving around how I deal with my circumstances. People continue to tell that I am dealing with everything really well, and that they couldn’t image being in my shoes. I am here to tell you that I, honestly, do not have some sort of secret.
In the interview for the job that didn’t work out I was asked how I deal with stress. I always think that this is such an odd question. No two people deal with stress in the same way. I take things one at time, because if you don’t then you become overwhelmed. You can’t let things get to you, and you need to understand that if you need help…ask for help. There is no real way to describe how I don’t get stressed out. I think that if you think that something is going to stress you out then you are going to get stressed out. But if you chill out and take things as they come and don’t let get to you, then you’ll be fine. This is not something that is easy to explain to someone in an interview. They really want you to have some sort of formula for stress, but I guarantee that person doesn’t have a formula either.
So, how do I deal with all these difficult situations? Much like how I deal with stress, I don’t let it get it to me. Sure I go through phases and not all of them are happy, but the phases never last that long. The first phase is an upset, crying phase. I’m sure that everyone is familiar with this one. I think that the difference between me and most people is that this phase never last that long. The sadness really only lasts a day, then I’m ready to move on and do something new…whatever that might be. I usually move on to a mad phase, where I am just pissed off about everything that happened. Then I move on an empowering phase, where I begin to believe that I am better off…and am really awesome. After that I usually, slowly, come back to reality and become more like my regular self with my regular outlook. Then I’m just me, and I’m OK.
I think that for a lot of people they get stuck in my first phase, and they don’t know how to get out of it. I admit that you really do need that time to feel sad, but if you don’t know how to bring yourself out of the sadness, then you’ve lost. This time the thing that did it for me was “Bad Reputation” by Joan Jett. I cranked that song liked it was nobody’s business, and I haven’t listened to any really sad music since. I think that the music that you listen too and the TV/movies that you watch really can help. If you listen/watch sad stuff then it is going to make/keep you sad, but if you listen/watch something that is happy then it will elevate your mood.
There is this song by Sam Phillips called “Where the Colours Don’t Go” that is about the place where depression and sadness lives. You have to choose to stay out of the place where the colours don’t go, because if you go there, well, it’s really hard to come back. There is no formula to keep you out of that place; it’s more of a decision. Take a look around and really ask yourself is this the state of mind that I want to be in, and if it’s not figure out how to fix it.
I don’t have all the answers, but I do have some really good insight. If there is ever anyone reading this that is in the place where the colours do go, please know that you can talk to me.
